Casting Call: Spiderman Rogues

With Spiderman 4 on the horizon, Sam Raimi will be looking for new villains to take on Spiderman. So far Black Cat and The Vulture have been rumored to be included in the script, while Raimi considers Morbius is favorite rogue. After shoehorning Venom, a character Raimi did not like, for the sake of whiny fanboys and scared studio-heads, allowing Raimi to use his own favorite or either of the other 2 contenders seems like a fair way to go.


Black Cat- Amber Heard
Amber Heard is quite the rising star. Her likability and charm oozed in Pineapple Express, and her bad girl ways were evident in The Informers. Not to far behind is leading roles in The Rum Diary, opposite Johnny Depp, and The Ward, John Carpenter's return to form effort. Pretty impressive.


The Vulture- David Strathairn
David has made a claim to fame playing annoyingly smarter-than-thou characters, a key characteristic I would say to The Vulture. Along with David's wiry frame, long face, and pointy nose, he is a head shaving away from looking just like Vulture.


Morbius- John Hensely
As a member of the "Nip/Tuck" cast, Hensely has had his fair share of shameless brooding storylines bookended by thoughtful reflection. Along with his already dark features against a pale complection and wiry frame make him an ideal actor for the vampire rogue.

Review: Give 'Em Hell Malone

Malone (Thomas Jane) is a gunman, good humored and hard to kill. His newest assignment turned out to be a set-up leaving him with a cryptic secret, referred to as "the meaning of love." Now Malone is being gunned down by every gangster in the city for the information. He's trying to stay low, but the bullets keep flying. If he doesn't figure out the endgame, it could mean his own end.

Yea, I know that is kinda cheesy, but it is cheesy in a good way, just like this flick. Its cheesy, noirish dialog and Sin City-esque attitude is justified by Jane and his costars of Dick Tracy-like rogues; Ving Rhames, Doug Hutchinson, and Leand Orser. Jane is in his ultimate wheelhouse as a stoic narrator and likable antihero channelling his inner Bogart, while Hutchinson and Rhames play up their typecasts as crazy dude and badass bruiser respectively. Even Elsa Pataky, who pulls down the pool of talent considerably with her constant cringe-worthy delivery, cannot hurt what really works with the rest of the cast. Most surprising is mastermind, Gregory Harrison, an actor I was not originally familiar with, is also very good and never lost a step with Jane and company.

The plot takes a number of twist and turns, but never gets bogged down. For such a small budget flick with little distribution, the plot is sound and the action is great. It starts with a shootout and keeps a decent pace throughout. It relies on the old-fashioned squips and blood packs, visuals that are usually casualty to the computer age.

"The meaning of love" is eventually revealed, ruining what could have been a fantastic MacGuffin, but it opened doors to Malone's checkered past and possible future. While it promises installments to come, I doubt it can move on so low under the radar. An annoying aspect of so many films to stay open-ended no matter how impossible those installments may be.

Overall, ...Malone is a fun throwback thriller to the classics of the '40s with Jane in a really great role. A treat for the Tarantino fans of bloody, violent ubercool substance and style.

7/10

Review: The Messenger

Staff Sergeant Will Montgomery (Ben Foster), a recently injured soldier with 3 months left of active duty, is given a new assignment notifying the next of kin that their soldier relative has died. Learning the ropes from the boisterous Captain Tony Stone (Woody Harrelson), Will finds himself involved with a widow of a fallen "brother," played by Samantha Morton.

A slowing movie drama, the three actors are given plenty of time and material to show off their more than substantial abilities. Both Ben Foster and Samantha Morton glide through the story with weary eyes hiding a sickening anger that explodes in ill-timed tantrums throughout. Woody Harrelson balances Foster and Morton's timebomb mania with his own brand of in-your-face denial. A sometime alcoholic, by-the-book everyman just trying to get by. His own emotional scars lie much deeper and only come out when you least expect. The plot rests on the shoulder of their screen chemistry. This is fortunate for the Will-Tony relationship. Their camaraderie has well-paced growth, starting with generic banter over beers to bearing their souls to each other after an alcohol fueled night. They are easily the most relatable, but the fly-by-night romance between Will and Morton's character, Olivia, is awkward and clumsy. Will follows her like an obsessed stalker. Besides obviously being smitten, he also stares coldly at her to an almost scary degree. Will seems sexually aroused by Olivia's loss of hope and poor anger management.

Ultimately, the characters dramatic journey ends with them dealing with their emotional problems, no longer suppressing all the horrible things they are feeling, and show hope of living a happy life again. This is an extension of the script's meaning. Even though the war is overseas, seemingly a million miles away, its repercussions are still felt on the homeland. It is not only soldiers getting hurt reinforcing the "war is hell" mentality so many people already adhere too. Despite the negative viewpoint on war, the movie stays fairly neutral on the Iraq situation, much like The Hurt Locker. It recognizes its existence, but makes no arguments for or against it.

The Messenger is slow moving, but extremely emotional. The actors do a more than fine job. Ben Foster and Samantha Morton continue a stable career of fantastic performances, but Woody Harrelson has possibly found his best performance yet.

7/10

Why Are People Ignoring Moon?

Moon is Duncan Jones' homage to the science fiction classic, Silent Running. Sam Rockwell plays Sam Bell, a blue collar worker alone on the moon harvesting a new form of fuel called Helium-3. Sam is very close to concluding his contract when he gets into an accident. Sam wakes up later with no memory of the accident, but later finds another Sam amongst the rubble. Now the two separate Sams, with 3 years difference in age, try to piece together the mystery surrounding their meeting.

Duncan Jones' directorial debut is incredibly strong. He weaves a mysterious and desperate story about the dangers of technology and the amoral business practices that follow them, as well as heartfelt injections of the human spirit. In a time where "science fiction" elicits images of caped crusaders and aliens with laser beams, Moon returns to sci-fi's roots depicting scientific advancement and challenges as well as exploring the consequences of doing so. He captures a dynamic setting within the muted corridors of an empty space station surrounded by miles and miles of barren rocky terrain. The already well displayed isolation and depression is multiplied by the somber, haunting score. Plus Jones cast Sam Rockwell.


Sam Rockwell is without a doubt the most underappreciated acting talent in Hollywood today. With his turns as a comic relief spaceman in Galaxy Quest, a likeable killer in Confessions of a Dangerous Mind, or a love-lost father and husband in Snow Angels, Rockwell has solidified himself as one of the finest actors of his generation. His character, Sam Bell, is just another fine performance in an already impressive resume. Rockwell has more screen presence and charisma to turn even the lowliest character into a likeable guy. Some of the work is already done for him as the material depicts Sam as an every man. As such Sam ventures through a number of emotions most of which is either anger or depression, all of which Rockwell invites the audience to feel the same way. Practically the only actor in the movie, the emotional weight rest assuredly on his shoulders. Rockwell also of course plays two variations of the same character who interact with each other. That alone is a difficult thing for actors to do, yet Rockwell performs admirably going above and beyond all expectations.


Moon has all the makings of a science fiction classic. Its eerie, depressing score paces the movie perfectly. New advance technology is in abundance, yet Sam Bell's blue collar sensibilities keep the story grounded and relatable. The evils of big business sneak around every corner. So why is the best movie of 2009, and the best sci-fi of the decade being snubbed this award season? Sam Rockwell at the very least deserves to be at the top of everyone's Best Actor lists.

Review: Where the Wild Things Are

An imaginative little boy having a tough day, at least in his own opinion, travels to an island full of wondrous landscapes and creatures. He wows the creatures right off the bat and becomes their king. He spends most of the day leading them in fun activities, but all good things come to an end.

Everyone handles emotions in a different way especially children, who's imagination is never more active and grasp on the real world never less understood. After throwing a temper-tantrum, the little boy, Max, literally visiting his wild side where he finds ultimate freedom and independence. Max makes an immediate bond with Carol (voiced by James Gandolfini), a monster who has the most in common with Max. Inevitably, Carol throws a similar tantrum. He ruins everyone's good time, loses the respect of some, and scares Max. At this point Max is done with this kind of world and just wants to return home. Even though Carol had just fought with him, he is incredibly sad to see Max leave, as is Max, but he knows its best to move on. The story was originally written as a psychoanalytical look at a child's anger, and the movie never forgets it.

It delivers all the zaniness and child-like innocence the previews promised, yet it is effectively somber at the same time. It reminds us all that are inner child is always there trying to escape, and even though it is not always appropriate, its good to let him our every once in awhile. The cast is incredibly endearing. The voice cast is phenomenal, and Max Records shows a lot of promise. They do a great job balancing the humor and tragedy within the film, but it is Spike Jonze directorial eye for the surreal that really allows this film to really fly.

Where the Wild Things is a fantastic, surreal cinematic experience, but its heavy tone and slow pacing may ruin what little entertainment value many thought it would for children

7/10

Top 10 Books to Be Made Into Movies

Nowadays when a book is being published, the rights to film it are sold off almost immediately. Some might think that this is a symbol of Hollywood's lack of ideas and creativity, but it is nothing new in the industry. Some of the greatest films are adapted from books or other forms of media. And there are still quite a bit out there that I would like to see.


10. Deadpool by Marvel comics
Synopsis: Deadpool is a mercenary who is diagnosed with cancer. This leads him to a secret government organization who experiments on him creating a mentally unstable, amnesiac, yet charismatic killing machine with a serious gift of gab. Deadpool wrestles with his more criminal tendencies and his longing for heroicism.
Why it should be made: Because the actor who is damn near perfect for the role (Ryan Reynolds) is super passionate about the project and is already meeting with studio bigwigs and screenwriters to get this off the ground. You may remember the character from X-Men Origins: Wolverine, but Reynolds' solo feature will be much different.
Director suggestion: Peter Berg. Peter has worked on black comedy in Very Bad Things, over the top, wire-fu action scenes in The Rundown, big budget special effects in Hancock and The Kingdom, and melodrama in Friday Night Lights. That and Berg's appearances of an actor in a number of Hollywood's more gritty crime pictures make him the perfect candidate to take on the merc with a mouth.


9. Beat The Reaper by Josh Bazell
Synopsis: A doctor is being tracked by some of New York's finest criminals and hitmen, including the Grim Reaper himself, because he might be an infamous hitman himself hiding out thanks to Witness Protection,
Why it should be made: The wit is sharp and quick. The action is fast and exciting. It has "awesome" written all over it. Already optioned for a possible DiCaprio vehicle.
Director suggestion: In a perfect world, Quentin Tarantino who is the king of quick-witted dialog and stylish filmmaking, but Tarantino's lack of enthusiasm over projects not written by him and his habit of keeping 100 projects in the pipeline at a time, it would never happen


8. Freaks of the Heartland by Steve Niles
Synopsis: A graphic novel by Steve Niles, a number of households in a rural, Southern town keep secret their mutated first-borns only to have one of their own children grabs his brother and the others to stop them from being further harassed by their scared, bigot parents.
Why it should be made: Because it is a great tale that flips horror on its head. Some of the greatest genre pictures depict humanity's own fear and predjudices as the true evil.
Director suggestion: Frankl Darabont has a way with original horror. So far he has taken three Stephen King books and made them into extraordinary films. His grasp of human nature and Southern sensibilities in Shawshank Redemption and The Green Mile, coupled with his sense of pacing and scare-tactics of The Mist would make an ideal transition to film.


7. Earthbound by Richard Matheson
Synopsis: An erotic ghost story first published in the pages of Playboy, Richard Matheson sends a married couple, David and Ellen, to the beaches of Long Island to celebrate their honeymoon, 21 years after their wedding. Soon David meets a mysterious stranger Marianna and begins a torrid affair sending him deeper into obsession and desperation as Marianna literally sucks the life out of him.
Why it should get made: Because the independent film industry could use an erotic ghost story. Censorship is just pecking away at film as an artform and this kind of graphic and horroric kick to the butt is what the film community needs.
Director suggestion: David Lynch is a creative genius spawning mind-boggling visual romps through human sexuality. It is his off-beat style and Kubrick-esque storytelling that is necessary to make something like this work.


6. Survivor by Chuck Palahniuk
Synopsis: Chuck Palahniuk's protagonist tells the story over the black box about how he came to be flying the plane on a suicide mission. His story is that of twin brothers, crazy cults, and a girl able to see the future.
Why it should be made: Palahniuk's storytelling is self-described as "lonely people looking for a way to reach out," an incredibly relatbale circumstance. His stories are also multi-layered challenging the audience to care for the protagonist considering they are almost never shown in the greatest light.
Director suggestion: Different from the lighter fare he has become famous for, Jason Reitman, director of Thank You For Smoking, Juno, and Up in the Air, could definitely takcle a more sadistic side of comedy with this story that while dark in context makes many attempts to stay lightly witty.


5. Dirk Gently series by Douglas Adams
Synopsis: Dirk Gently is a private detective, a holistic detective, taking on much different kinds of cases using much different kind of tactics. Commonly using wild guesses, Gently believes in the interconnectedness of all things, relying on some form of existentialism or new age philosophy to guide him to the solutions.
Why it should be made: Because it is really funny. Written by Douglas Adams, writer of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy series, Adams humor is usually mostly in the narrative, yet with the Gently series you are given a strange pudgy man to use as a vehicle, unlike Hitchhiker's ensemble.
Director suggestion: Edgar Wright is the new king of British observational humor and snappy dialog and even knows a pudgy actor known for his kooky but likable characters, Nick Frost.


4. The Dark Tower series by Stephen King
Synopsis: Stephen King's 7-book epic, pits Roland, a traveling gunslinger in a mystical world, against the forces of evil as he searches for the Dark Tower, his white whale so to speak. He is eventually joined by people from Earth who help him on his journey as well as a number of King's characters from other books, including King himself.
Why it should be made: Because with Lord of the Rings over and Harry Potter nearing its end, studios are going to be looking for the next great epic saga that they can adapt and merchandise to the public. No better epic than a brand new one from a critically-acclaimed author. That and J.J. Abrams is already trying to make it happen.
Director suggestion: Besides Abrams, the Dark Tower series should change directors like they have been doing for Harry Potter. Each novel brings something new, it seems right that a fresh face be brought in each time as well.


3. I Am Legend by Richard Matheson
Synopsis: Neville is the last remaining human in the world. During the day he searches for food and supplies and hunts the vampiric beasts left behind by a super-plague that wiped out the rest of his race. It is a journey through isolation, depression, and fear.
Why it should be made: Because Hollywood is still yet to fully grasp the meaning behind the title. One of my favorite endings ever, and Hollywood does not think it is suitable for film. Just like Freaks of the Heartland, the story, in its own way, contemplates the nature of humanity and evil.
Director suggestion: Alex Proyas has captured dark, gothic settings better than most and has put truly fantastic sci-fi stories against them. Feelings of isolation, grief, and fear can be found in most of his work.


2. Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett
Synopsis: An angel and a demon who live on Earth get world of the nearing armageddon and decide to try to stop it. Fortune tellers, witchhunters, other demons, and even the Antichrist get involved as these two try to save the world they have come to love.
Why it should be made: Because it is really funny. I have seen it descriped as Hitchhiker's Guide to the Underworld. A great example of quick witted British humor that does not forget the adventure and intrigue while they are at it.
Director suggestion: Terry Gilliam has tried (and failed) to get this made, and I see no one better for it. Gilliam would be able to get the visual cues, comedic timing, and the deeper meanings behind the story.


1. Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger
Synopsis: Holden Caufiled travels to New York to drown his sorrows and get into other forms of mischief following his expulsion from a prepatory school in Philadelphia. The story is full of loneliness, interesting passerbys, and self-reflection.
Why it should be made: Because it probably won't ever. Author, J.D. Salinger, thinks that Hollywood would never do the story justice thus the rights are better used for his wife and kids to sell if they ever get money troubles after he is gone. This does not stop the story from being a seminal, burtally honest, coming of age story beloved by many, banned by others, and is most deserving of a film adaptation over anything else.
Director suggestion: Cameron Crowe is well known for his long dramedies about young people finding themselves in a melodramatic world with some of the best timed injections of comedy. There is absolutley no reason Crowe wouldn't make the best possible adaptation.

Hidden Gem: Wristcutters: A Love Story

Wristcutters: A Love Story takes place in an afterlife similar to our own world except sadder where all the inhabitants have committed suicide . One such inhabitant is Zia, who slit his wrists after he got dumped by his girlfriend. After learning that she also offed herself, he sets off on a road trip to find her. He's joined by Eugene, a struggling rock star who killed himself over the integrity of his music, and Mikal, a former drug addict who died of an accidental overdose and believes she isn't supposed to be there. The trio go on a surreal adventure finding all sorts of people with interesting stories, many of which are making the best attempt at being happy in a world where it is literally impossible to smile.

This is one of the more original stories I have seen in a long time. The premise alone (an afterlife just for suicide victims) is more original than most films made in years. And with such a premise, the filmmakers had an open door to go down a cliche route explaining why suicide is not the answer, and dive deep into all the other existential discussions that would come from people who consciously remember dying, topics I find that have been done to death in other media. Instead, you find an endearing and quirky affirmation of life told through black comedy starring epressed and desperate people who have already given up on life yet have clung together to create a new society and satisfying "realities," a seemingly impossible feat.

The strongest aspect of this movie is its characters. Zia, Mikhal, Eugene, and even the mysterious Kneller, played by the even more mysterious Tom Waites, are incredibly relatable characters yet have enough zany to make them really stand out. The rest of the cast is a series of weirdos like a throat-singing mute and a wannabe messiah trying to kill himself......AGAIN! There are endless fairytale-like scenarios that play out making this seem more like a comically dark Wizard of Oz.

Wristcutters offers an enjoyable, funny tale of life after death in a way never seen before.

Casting Call: Hagar the Horrible

Hagar the Horrible is a popular newspaper comic strip. It follows the misadventures of a Viking bent on pillaging and plundering English villages, as well as his dysfunctional sitcom home life with wife and kids. Never too far behind him is his even more clueless sidekick, Lucky Eddie.


Hagar the Horrible- Zach Galifianakis
Short, round, with a bright orange beard, the visual similarities are undeniable. Zach's energy level mixing equal parts endearing cluelessness and bad tempered personality make him a perfect fit.


Helga- Sarah Rue
Helga is the stereotypical overly-maternal type seen in every sitcom. Sarah Rue's ability to keep up with the comedic jabs but stay constantly reasonable make her the perfect "straight woman" to nag Galifianakis' unruly Hagar.


Lucky Eddie- Dax Shepard
Even more clueless than Hagar, as well as more cowardly, the usually wiry-framed yet equally clueless Dax Shepard could definitely play second banana to Zach.

4 Non-Actors Who Could Be Actors

It is no secret that non-actors slip into movies all the time. Some have even proven to be more successful as actors and have since stayed with it (coughWill Smithcough). But even with a few success stories, when people hear that a non-actor will be appearing in a movie, it does not illicit confidence in the project. To be fair the track record leans towards the negative in the first place, but their are definitely a few non-actors out there who could have very successful film careers.

1. The Rapper
Eminem
Eminem is known mostly for being an incredibly successful yet controversial Caucasian rapper. While finding success, he has also gained a reputation of being egotistical and ill-mannered. Yet he showed some serious charisma and dramatic chops in his 2002 effort, 8 Mile, a film based on his own lift in Detroit. In Funny People, he was also able to lampoon himself, a trait that usually hints at a good sense of humor and humble self-awareness, characteristics not originally associated with Eminem.


2. The Wrestler
Chris Jericho
Wrestlers are always the most suspicious when it comes to film. The Rock could be called the most successful wrestler turned actor, but his talent in my opinion is limited to the light-hearted action-adventurers as seen in The Rundown and Walking Tall, but so far he has leaned on scene-chewing comedic timing and melodramatic acting. Chris Jericho seems to me to have the same kind of presence and charisma of The Rock that helped jumpstart his carreer.


3. The Rockstar
Dave Grohl
When the Foo Fighters agreed to do VH1's "Storytellers." the producers needed to make sure they knew that they needed to talk during their performance. The Foo Fighters' management laughed becuase Grohl has a big personality and is known for talking. A LOT! Grohl has that screen presence and charisma to enter a situation such as filming and knock it out of the park. His appearance in his videos and in Tenacious D's videoes depicts someone with a great sense of humor.


4. The Porn Star
Sasha Grey
Sure Sasha Grey is known for her adult film career, but surprse, surprise, she can actually act. Look no further than The Girlfriend Experience, a Stephen Soderbergh picture, one that is brutally honest portrayal of life. Grey is also a very big cinephile (get your mind out of the gutter, pervert, it means movie lover). She has a love of French film and trippy indie pictures. It means little as far as talent, but there is certainly some passion there.

Review: The Road

Based on a novel by Cormac McCarthy of the same name, Viggo Mortensen plays a desperate father traveling across a barren wasteland that was once the United States trying to protect his child. All of nature is dying. The humans are the last living things. Desperate humans turning to cannibalism and violence stalk the streets. All hope seems gone, but Man and Boy, who's names we never learn, perservere.

The catsatrophe that ends the world is never explained, but the muted colors and decaying landscape leave little to the imagination. The world is literally falling to pieces. The landscapes are so striking, not due to characteristics, but rather the lack of them. Its hard to believe that it once was ever livable. It is by far the most impressive and fear-driven depiction of the end of the world that I have ever seen.

Mortenson and his son, played by Kodi Smit-McPhee, shoulder all of the pathos, not an easy task, but the two perform beyond expectations. Mortensen is a seasoned veteran and there is nothing that surprising at how well he performs, but McPhee is still a rookie, yet he shows such incredible promise. The emotional and physical range necessary for the role is almost unseen in actors that young. Unfortunately the other cast members, Charlize Theron, Robert Duvall, and Garret Dillahunt are barely appear in it. Their roles could only be called cameos. Not that they didn't leave a lasting impression. Their characters showed the tragedy of the world up close and personal to the Man. Theron losing all hope, Duvall's broken down old man, and Dillahunt's desperate criminal paint an incredibly specific picture with little screentime they had. Guy Pearce was most underused. His character was a mystery, but I am not sure if that was the point. He seemed like he was meant to be a glimmer of hop, yet he still felt like an untrustworthy rogue. When it is revealed he had been following the two protagonists from the very beginning, it raises questions as to what his final goal was.

The Road's biggest obstacle is its tone. It is depressing and slow-moving, but not without reason. Everything about the tone goes to building the depression and dread that makes the movie great and makes the glimpses of humanity in the Man and Boy that much more special. But the runtime is pretty long for such a slow-moving picture. It can become very distracting.

The Road is an incredibly dark and depressing post-apocalyptic tale, a dystopia that seems all too realistic. It is a story full of love, hope, horror, and adventure. It is just too bad it feels too much like a chore to watch.

8/10

28 Days Later...and the Zombie Genre

The zombie genre is probably one of the most beloved sub genres in all of cinema. It has spawned some real great pieces, like Night of the Living Dead and Shaun of the Dead, some cult classics, like The Evil Dead series and Re-Animated, and even one bona fide piece of cinematic history, the original Dawn of the Dead. For these very reasons, the internet folk talk about to no end. One such movie that always gets a mention is 28 Days Later... (and sometimes 28 Weeks Later...). And any mention of that will be met with numerous reader comments on how 28 Days Later... is not a zombie movie. But is it?


The biggest evidence against it would be that the plague ridden populace (known as The Infected) are NOT actually zombies. So let's try to define what a zombie is. A zombie is any human reanimated from death and devolved to a primitive state where there primary, if not only, motive is to consume. They lack emotion, personality, and pretty much any other characteristic of the deceased except echoes of memories of their former life that lead them to repeat normal actions albeit purposelessly. They also suffer from rigor mortis, stiffening of the body that happens after death. Thus the slow, shuffle in which pre-Zack Snyder zombies moved.


The Infected are otherwise very different. They are not emotionless. They are full of rage, like an amped up form of rabies. Since they are sick and not dead, they are not held back by rigor mortis. In fact, quite the opposite, they become fairly fast moving and never seem to get exhausted. They definitely have the same penchant to attack, but their is no clear cut implication that they are motivated by hunger.


You would think that the most important element to be considered a zombie movie is to have to include zombies, which the Infected certainly are not, but 28 Days Later... still has most of the same characteristics that have brought so many fans to the sub genre in the first place. In 28 Days Later, the events that ruined London already occurred and out hero, Jim, awakes in a hospital and wanders the streets of an empty, but severely damaged London. It is a frightening image, an empty city. The realization that everyone is gone, even in the early mornings can be pretty creepy. That is one of the biggest sources of fear between both kinda of flick, the fear that no one is there, that you are alone. And not just by yourself, ultimately alone, never to have human companionship again. Zombie movies are really the only ones to effectively depict such a fear. 28 Weeks Later is about the grand reopening of London, that is until they are overwhelmed by the last of the Infected. An uncontrollable enemy hiding behind the faces of neighbors and loved ones is yet another fear device that is used most effectively in zombie movies. How many heroes or victims have hesitated thinking they can talk their zombified friends into consciousness? Too many. In fact, I believe this to be the real defining characteristic of zombie movies. That the enemy is a disease, an enemy you cannot shoot or stab, until it has infected your loved ones and turn them against you.


You might want to say that vampires and werewolves are similar. And they sort of are. But the biggest difference is those two monsters are almost always portrayed with so much more human capabilities than the zombies or infected. The victims' personalities tend to fight the diseases' hard-wiring. Basically, my point is 28 Days Later.... and its sequel have a fundamental difference from the zombie sub genre, but they have so much more in common, is it really necessary to mention how it doesn't count every time it is brought up in a conversation of zombies? Not at all. It has more in common with the zombie movies than the Dawn of the Dead remake or Zombieland which pretty much ignored many of the important aspects of a zombie yet labeled them as such anyway. At least 28 whatever later was honest about what it was accomplishing.

Review: Men Who Stare at Goats

Bob Wilton (Ewan McGregor) is a down and out journalist. In order to prove his worth as not just a reporter but as a human being, he goes to the Middle East to try and report on some of the dealings going on to do with the current war. Instead, he finds Lyn Cassady (George Clooney) who is an ex-member of secret military organization developing alternative methods of fighting war using superpowers and peace. The two journey into the desert reminiscening about the "good ole days" and the secret mission they currently find themselves on.

The Men Who Stare at Goats is a quirky, nonsensical tale. George Clooney, Kevin Spacey, and Jeff Bridges all perform as one would think. They effortless become these overly-quirky characters so very unlike their uber-cool characters they have known to play. It is part of what makes them great actors. In addition, a lot of the jokes were really superb characterized by great dialog and equally, if not better timing.

Unfortunately, it just does not click. The movie is a plot that never goes anywhere. A greatest hits montage of this movie would probably be one of the best, but at feature length it struggles to find meaning and pacing. While Clooney, Bridges, and Spacey perform admirably, they are definitely on comfortable ground, taking steps back from greater performances they have already achieved. While Ewan McGregor who has proven himself a number of times calls in his performance as possibly one of the blandest characters to ever be put to celluloid.

4/10. I laughed a few times, but it mostly felt like an amateur filmmaker trying desperately to be like the Coen brothers.

Top 10 Jim Carrey Performances

Carrey's newest venture, A Christmas Carol, made with mo-cap connoisseur, Robert Zemeckis, is topping the box office. In it, Jim tackles 4 characters, Scrooge (at each age he appears) and each of the three ghosts. Now, it seems strange to hide his infamous elastic face behind 3-dimensional computer graphics, but everyone knows that there is a lot more to a single performance than that. Jim gets to show off his body language and voice inflection that are equally as good as his crazy face. In honor of Carrey's multiple performance new flick, I have comiled a list of his best performances yet.

10. Ace Ventura (Ace Ventura: Pet Detective)

Pretty much Carrey's first lead role, he plays a crazy but charming pet detective, a man who dedicated his life to helping people get their pets back. It is one of Carrey's more animated performances for sure.

9. The Cable Guy (The Cable Guy)

An enigmatic, clingy cable guy makes a new friend out of a recent client. He ends up driving his newfound pal crazy and then tries to ruin his life for not being his best friend. It is a seriously demented, but hysterical role. I don't think any of his roles balanced those two characteristics as well as this one.

8. Bruce Nolan (Bruce Almighty)

Bruce Nolan, aka Bruce Almighty, is a struggling news anchor, a modern average joe attempting greatness (in his own way), who is endowed with God's powers after smiting the Lord for not being fair to him. Just like the Cable Guy, this high-concept comedy has Carey balancing outright comedy with a little bit of dramatic acting near the end. The little seed of seriousness that made so many of my favorite comedies great is really well used here.

7. Fletcher Reede (Liar, Liar)

As Reede, Carrey played a lying lawyer who after too many times dissapointing his son loses his ability to lie from a birthday wish. If theres anything better than watching Carrey let loose, it is seeing Carrey let loose but attempting to hold back at the same time. Many times over the course of this movie, I definitely expected Carrey's beat red face to pop off his body.

6. Count Olaf (Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events)

Carrey brings to life a beloved literary villain. A lot like A Christmas Carol, Carrey gets to play multiple roles, expect this time they are alias' of the same man, a greedy relative knocking off other next of kin in order to get custody of some children and their late parent's fortune. One of the more charismatic rogues out there, Carrey's skills are put to the ultimate test letting a few wigs and prothetics become unrecognizable characters.

5. Andy Kaufman (Man on the Moon)

If there was any real person that Jim Carrey should play, with all his dramatic ability, schizophrenic comedic timing, and eleastic-faced presence, it is the ultimate alternative comic, Andy Kaufman. While The Truman Show is the first of his movies that wowed me as an actor, this was what wowed most people I think.

4. Truman Burbank (The Truman Show)

As Truman, Carrey plays a clueless member of a near-utopian society. A gated community somethere in the northeast (i think). What he really is in is a large soundstage in Hollywood where Truman is watched by cameras every waking minute and surrounded by actors posing as his friends and family. A truly nuanced performance by Carrey.

3. Charlie/Hank (Me, Myself, and Irene)

Another movie that puts Carrey's schizophrenic screen presence to good use, this time as two personalities in the same body fighting for control. Carrey effortlessly changes back and forth at the most inoppurtune times.

2. Lloyd Christmas (Dumb and Dumber)

As one of the two dumbest people on Earth, Jim Carrey definitely delivers his most memorable role. Not my persoanl favorite, and not his most successful as far as quality but definitely the funniest. He even took out his own chipped tooth from his childhood. Random, stupid observations have not been delivered with this kind of comedic timing since the Marx brothers.

1. Joel Barish (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind)

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is easily Carrey's greatest performance ever. Its more dramatic than Kaufman and more naunced than Truman. It lacks the comedic flare that most of his career would imply, but Carrey surprisingly holds his own against the very talented Tom Wilkinson, Mark Ruffalo, and most talented of all Kate Winslet. This is definitely a movie to see.

Hollywood's "Genius" Marketing Campaign

Hollywood is a fickle industry. Remakes and "safe" pictures flood the market, and originality is sparse. Even when it comes, Hollywood usually puts it in limited release or direct-to-DVD. The audience would probably see it if they could, if it wasn't such a chore to find an actual showing, or if Hollywood suits would happen to actually MARKET the damn things. When I tell people Moon was the best movie this summer, people just say "huh?"

The lengths of stupidity in Hollywood's marketing strategies will never cease to amaze me. Is it really all that better to make a movie look like something that it is not than to just show an excellent movie as it is? Take The Boat that Rocked for example.

The Boat that Rocked is about a motley crew of rock and roll DJs who play radio from a boat in the middle of ocean to the British mainland, where it is pretty much prohibited. The British government than tried to take precautions off the air, most of which prove to be futile. It is very funny with a really fantastic appreciation for classic rock. It also happens to star some of the funnier British actors today. Some spoilers may come up, but I think I give away anything that would ruin the watching experience.



:20 mark
One of the handfull of trailer voice guys says (and I paraphrase) One American DJ (aka The Count) decides to start Pirate Radio to bring rock across the pond. I don't think so. The Count (played by Phillip Seymour Hoffman) is in fact a replacement for a DJ that had quit from the original crew. Most of the implication is left thinking that Bill Nighy's character is the skipper of the whole endeavor. Also Hoffman is barely the star. The movie is in fact an ensemble. One of the best enesembles since the Ocean 11 movies. How can that not be marketable?

:25 mark
Twatt (played by Jack Davenport) is shown to call The Count the most famous DJ of all time. This is also not true. Twatt was in fact talking about Rhys Ifans' Gavin character, who is the DJ Hoffman's character was replacing.

:36 mark
Nighy than says they should have set sail years ago after the trailer voice implies that this is about their maiden voyage. What actually happens is that the boat is anchored at a specific spot and doesn't move until they were forced to by the government nearing the end of the movie.

And if that wasn't bad enough, they changed the very great title of The Boat that Rocked into Pirate Radio, a cheap generic name, undoubtedly including the term "Pirate" because of the financial success of Pirates of the Caribbean movies. Just lock at the font.

Very similar. Similar enough to suggest a strategy of banking on the success of one on the other.

Hollywood needs to stop chasing the creativity away from the medium. It is hard enough trying to see indie pictures on a regular basis, we do not need all the good movies to go that way. They need to learn how to read numbers. G. I. Joe might have made money, but it was also way more accessible than both Moon and The Hurt Locker.