Review: The Surrogates

Somewhere between near future and distant future, the majority of the population have been replaced by remote control robots. Despite a numbing sensation, the world has seemingly become a utopia until someone dies from feedback from their destroyed robotic counterpart.

The story has a lot of potential . Utopian world. Robots. Subtle thematic undertones that turn out to be not so subtle. The movie never reached it's full potential. It promised to be a robot action flick with a thriller pace, but the movie crawls to the ending. It is full of plot holes and the storyline seems pretty forced. A world where 99% of the population are actually controlling robots to do their day-to-day stuff probably does not need an FBI, yet there is one that looks well funded and very busy. The robots are also lacking serious emotions. That sounds weird considering their machines, but they are controlled by people yet comically perform as pieces of wood.

The Surrogates needed a serious injection of Bruce Willis. Yes, Bruce Willis is already cast as the lead, but you would never know. His famous wit and charisma is missing almost completely. One scene where he chews out his boss and another where he mouths off to a female legal aid for probably being a sexually frustrated man at the remote are truly the only scenes worth seeing just to see Willis do what he does best.

As most pieces of science fiction, this movie tries to have a meaningful theme. It is exactly what you would think. Live life equals good. Control robot equals bad. Not very inspiring at all. The potential for lamenting on freedom, personal prisons, dependency on technology are left pretty much out of the picture except for the finale mad genius rant that is too cliche to even count.

The Surrogates is an incredibly dissapointing film with all the potential to be a fantastic and unique blockbuster, but apparently those two terms (unique and blockbuster) continue to stay disassociated. But its still an action pic with a few good explosions (I suppose).

3/10

Top 10 Breakout Roles That Almost Weren't

Strange enough, for some actors' there most popular roles were never originally intended for them. And not only were they popular, but they basically MADE their careers.


10. Abe Sapien (Hellboy series)
Actor: Doug Jones
Originally cast: David Hyde Pierce
David Hyde Pierce did in fact voice the character in the first Hellboy. He was brought in to add a bigger name to the cast list, but Pierce denied credit citing Doug Jones as the real talent behind Abe even basing his voice patterns on Jones' real voice. Jones got a chance to voice Abe in both Hellboy 2 and DVD cartoons. He is now Guillerme Del Toro's go to monster man.


9. Patrick Bateman (American Psycho)
Actor: Christian Bale
Originally cast: Leonardo DiCaprio
Bale almost definitely got his job as Batman because of this movie. Bateman! Batman! Coincidence? In American Psycho, Bale plays a yuppie rich dude who during the day acts like your average playboy, but at night has a terrible dark persona. It is almost interchangeable except Bateman is a hero, and Bateman is a blood thirsty serial killer.


8. Vivian Ward (Pretty Woman)
Actor: Julia Roberts
Originally cast: Molly Ringwald, as well as everyone else at that time
Julia shot to fame, Molly went into obscurity.


7. Randy "The Ram" Robinson (The Wrestler)
Actor: Mickey Rourke
Originally cast: Nicholas Cage
Cage as a wrestler is just laughable. Instead we got the ultimate comeback role with Rourke welcomed with open arms (where were you before Hollywood douchebags) and has upcoming projects lined up around the corner.


6. Aragorn (Lord of the Ring series)
Actor: Viggo Mortensen
Originally cast: Stuart Townshend
Both are pretty good, but Stuart looked significantly younger, which is why he got booted. Viggo has gotten steady work in damn good flicks. He has kept low key than most big shots, but he has become a fan favorite nonetheless.


5. Indiana Jones
Actor: Harrison Ford
Originally cast: Tom Selleck
Lucas was afraid of Harrison Ford becoming his "Deniro" since Ford was in both Star Wars and American Graffiti, but thank god for Spielberg who pushed for Ford. Ford didnt just play Indy, he made Indy. Even Ford's trademark chin scar become a part of Indy's story- he got it during his first attempt with his whip.


4. Rocky Balboa
Actor: Sylvester Stallone
Orignally cast: Ryan O'Neal, among others.
Ryan Who? Yeah, that's right. Ryan was a young actor who had actually done golden gloves boxing. You can now see him on the tv series "Bones" as Brennan's father, Max. Stallone on the other hand is now one of the biggest action stars Hollywood has ever seen. I mean, come on, he wrote the damn script, he had to get the role.


3. John McLane
Actor: Bruce Willis
Originally cast: Arnold Shwartzanegger, Sylvester Stallone, Richard Gere, Burt Reynolds, in the order.
Bruce made McLane like Ford made Indy. It was his own Jersey-bred sarcasm that added an extra likeable level to McLane and the mostly dead serious thriller Die Hard once was. Now how good Willis is? Well, I used Jersey and likeable in the same sentence, so that should give you an idea.


2. Wolverine (X-Men)
Actor: Hugh Jackman
Originally cast: Dougary Scott
Scott got stuck on post-work on Mission: Impossible 2 and Hugh stepped in. Now Hugh is easily one of Hollywood's go to guys, one of the more charismatic people in showbusiness, and seems usually appreciative of praise, fans, and fame.


1. Terminator (Terminator series)
Actor: Arnold Shwartzanegger
Originally cast: Lance Henrickson
Everyone knows about OJ Simpson's rumor, but Henrickson made it to negotiations. He ended up plays a cop, and Arnold got to move up from Kyle Reese to the Terminator creating a truly iconic character. A character to appear both on AFI's Top 100 Heroes and Villains twice, once as a hero, and once as a villain.

Casting Call: The A-Team

I think "A-Team" as great potential to be an awesome flick. When it comes to TV remakes, hopefully it goes the way of The Fugitive, where it can actually take itself seriously. Joe Carnanhan is supposedly spearheading it, so it will most likely be dramatic thriller that knows how to be funny and humorous (hopefully!). Ya know, that middle ground between Smokin Aces and Narc. While I have never seen an episode of tv show, I still want to see this done right. I took the time to read up on the characters.






















Hannibal- Bruce Willis
Bruce Willis IS a tough, old cigar-chomping guy. I think he has perfected the serious but witty action hero, and despite his age, has kept himself in really great shape.



















Face- Ryan Reynolds
Reynolds could pass for a military guy physically. He is also a great actor with great comedic delivery and witticism. I would think he would be able to handle both the script, action, and possible improv.


















Murdoch- David Arquette
The name does not invoke quality with a lot of people, but I think Arquette is far more talented than people give him credit for. Eight Legged Freaks, Ready to Rumble, and his short-live tv series "In Case of Emergency" had better balance of outright insanity and sincerity than most want to admit.


















Bad Attitude- Terry Crews
He's big, he's black, so he's a pretty obvious choice. But he actually has some pretty great screen presence, sense of humor, and charisma that allows him to excel in the kind of role this would be.

Top 10 Heroes For a Comeback

John McLane, Indiana Jones, Rambo, Rocky. Old action heroes are blowing off the cobwebs of their greatest roles. They have met mixed reaction, but thus far I have enjoyed them. There is still some on the way like Van Damme and Lundgren returning to Universal Soldier. I would love to see more so I made a list of 10 heroes I want to blow off the cobwebs and go for a Round 2 with the original actors and continuity involved rather than rebooting/remaking the crap out of everything.

10. Topper Harley (Hot Shots series)
Who better to lampoon the comebacks of other action movies, than Charlie Sheen as Topper Harley, the greatest action hero spoof (at least in my opinion).

9. David Dunn (Unbreakable)
This movie is a way earlier than the rest, but I would really love to see this get a second chapter. Hell yeah, it has a high potential for failure, but there's no shame in trying (right?).

8. Goonies (Goonies)
All of the original actors have gone on to new things. Some have bailed on Hollywood, some are still struggling, and some are Josh Brolin. Still I think it would be interesting to see them return and go on another adventure. Kind of a City Slickers style mid life crisis spearheaded by Mikey. Maybe this time they can actually the giant squid.

7. Ashley J Williams (Evil Dead series)
If "Burn Notice" has taught me anything its that Bruce Campbell still kicks ass despite being older, pudgier, and possibly more cynical than he once was. But the Bruce is still full of wit and charm, and I think both if Raimi can get his crap together and direct something that isn't Spiderman or produce something that isn't a J-horror remake, they could make a great grassroots horror flick

6. Popeye Doyle (French Connection)
I hate to say it, but Gene Hackman seems to have fallen from grace. The guy isn't getting the high profile goods anymore although he has shined in some noteworthy indies (Royal Tenenbaums anyone). But to make it up to all of us for Welcome to Mooseport and Heartbreakers, he should beat the streets to see if anyones picking their feet in Poughkeepsie.

5. Axel Foley (Beverly Hills Cop series)
The third one sucked and Eddie Murphy hasn't done anything of any worth except for Dreamgirls which is already kind of forgotten. Murphy has kept in pretty incredibly shape it seems, and he could definitely make a comeback if they stick to the intensity and humor of the first one. That is be funny but take your self seriously, i.e. Not I, Spy.

4. Snake Plisken (Escape From.....)
Escape From Earth. That was the proposed title for a third Snake flick made by Russel and Carpenter. Why isn't this happening? The two of them arn't really doing anything. Carpenter in particular needs a hit after Ghosts of Mars and deserves one after making superior "Master of Horror" episodes.

3. Harry Callahan (Dirty Harry series)
I thought Gran Torino would be a Dirty Harry flick. Watching Gran Torino, it might as well have been Dirty Harry (except that he had kids and a love of his life). To think that Gran Torino is Eastwood's last acting gig, it is unfortunate that there is no more Dirty Harry

2. Roger Rabbit (Who Framed Roger Rabbit)
Come on! Who doesn't? Who Framed Roger Rabbit is such a gem, and I still cannot believe they never made another one. In fact, a prequel was planned, with toons being draftedfor WWII and Roger meeting Jessica, who was a radio host who wasn't so HOT! But Spielberg had just done Schindler's List and did not want to comically villify the Nazis anymore. Hence no Indiana Jones until a Cold War error.

1. Max Rockatansky (Mad Max series)
The third one was not that great. But 1 and especially 2 were fantastic. Good old fashioned filmmaking. If only Mel would do it. He says he is too old, but he has done plenty of movies with at least mid-level action in it since Lethal Weapon 4 yet he keeps refering to LW4 as a "painful experience." Plus Fury Road is a badass title.

Quote of the Week

"Every red-blooded American knows that the only condiment that you are ever supposed to put on a hamburger is KETCHUP!"
- Jimmy (Bruce Willis) from The Whole Nine Yards

Top 5 Favorite Movies of All Time

5. Taxi Driver
Scorsese's look at post-war human psyche and existentialism in an American society that isn't what it once was.

















4. Raiders of the Lost Ark
Stephen Spielberg, George Lucas, and Harrison Ford's homage to classic '30s pulp fiction that helped shape the action/adventure genre as we know it. Indiana Jones will go down as one of the greatest cinema heroes of all time. The American Film Institute ranked him the best hero, second only to Atticus Finch (a tough character to beat).













3. Die Hard

Die Hard has set up a precedent for every action movie after it. It's an industry joke that most action screenplays get pitched as "Die Hard on a boat/on a plane/etc." To this day, its still one of the greatest uses of physical effects and miniatures













2. Pulp Fiction

Quentin Tarantino's tour de force that is one of the most memorable screenplays and has spawned plenty of imitators. Dialogue has rarely been both cool and relatively natural at the same time.














1. One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest

A simple plot of a man who enters a mental facility and becomes an inspiration to the members puts a lot of weight on the actor and Jack Nicholson performed masterfully. This is the movie that transformed Jack Nicholson, one of the greatest actors to ever come out of the industry, from a promising up and comer to a superstar. Never will anyone watch a movie and want to kill the villain as much as this one.